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Moby Dick
#1
Tak zacząłem się bawić w przekład utworu Moby Dick (w sumie piosenki). I mam propozycje do wspólnej pracy nad przekładamiSmile To jest taki jakby szkielet który wymodziłem i zapraszam do współpracy-zabawy w dopracowaniu tego Smile Chodzi o to by dało się to zaśpiewać, czyli jakiś rytm był zachowany z grubsza chociaż...

Moby Dick

This ship is like church of the darkness
Ahab has scar on the satchel (gob, mug, satch,satchel, bone-box?)
On front of us, behind us – abysses
Death for obedients – and impunites.

This ship is like red oratory
Rebellion of practicall crew.
On front of us, behind us – nothingness
Death for covards – and fearlesses.

This ship is like yellow plague
Lure for willings for horror
On front of us, behind us – lava
Death for diamonds – and gunks.

This ship is like white phantom
With black scare of accident.
When the wave grows up above him
Coffin – life boat of witnesses.

This ship doesn’t have any color
Indulge in seas winding-sheets
Our very small harpoons
Float white whale.

[Dodano 11 marca 2009 o 20:33]
Skoro nikt nie chce, to sam się poprawie:
"In front of us, behind us - "
"Wszyscyśmy z płócien
Rembrandta:
To tylko kwestia
Światła ; "
Odpowiedz
#2
Końcówka chyba powinna być:

"Floated by white whale"
"Wszyscyśmy z płócien
Rembrandta:
To tylko kwestia
Światła ; "
Odpowiedz


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